he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
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I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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