i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
