My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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