ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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