the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize