dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
