Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
