We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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