Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
