were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
