I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
