you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
