Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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