Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
