ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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