He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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