I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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