I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
