you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize