If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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