I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
