The maid of honor just puked.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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