I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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