Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
