I can tuck mytits in my pants
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
