the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
