thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
