Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i out mim tonsoeep
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
