She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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