it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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