why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there's paper in my vomit.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
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I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money