erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
