I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
