I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
