What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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