I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
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He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
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hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
is it fun? or sober?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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