You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize