there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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