I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
