They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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