i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sobbing to NWA
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
