Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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