I'm really into asian looking animals
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
