it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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