One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
