Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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