Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
