using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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