I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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