My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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