flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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