she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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