people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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