I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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