My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
