glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
