its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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