There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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