Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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